Monday, December 3, 2012

Before and After.

One of the most surprising things to my family and I as we mourn Henry is how stark the division has become for so many things in our life.

Yesterday as I was driving my son back to college I thought, "The last time I drove Luke back to U of I Henry was waiting for me to come home."

As my husband watched football Sunday afternoon he thought, "This is the first Bears game without Henry with us."

This morning as the alarm on my phone sounded to remind me to take Henry to therapy I thought, "I will have to cancel all 4 of the alarm reminders on my phone since we will not be going to therapy or having therapists come here any more."

A stark dividing line.

Before and After.

Before - Henry with us.

After - Henry not with us.

So it is easy to fall into the mindset that "before" is good and "after" is bad.

But what about this....?

Before - Henry abandoned in an orphanage crib.

After - Henry our beloved son and baby brother.

Or this.....?

Before - Henry with Larsen's Syndrome here on earth.

After - Henry perfect in heaven.

God takes ALL THINGS and makes them new.

He can take our worst pains and tragedies and turn them to joy through people who listen to His promptings and act as His hands to those in need...

Like all of you did for me and my family.

Through the almost 200 comments on my blog post that Henry had gone to his heavenly home...

Through a wall of light and love on my FB page that my husband and I wept over at midnight after Henry's wake...

Though teary eyes mamas and dads who brought their babies and children to say good-bye...

Through flowers and food and donations sent from close friends and even strangers... From my next door neighbor to a priest from Great Britain who I have no idea how he found Henry's blog...

Before - we were gratefully accepting help to pay for Henry's funeral and his final medical costs...

After - through your generous hearts, we have enough to pay for these...

And some left over to bless others.

We will be donating to the Village of Hope in Guatemala, where a brave family has moved their many children to care for orphans (international adoptions are not allowed from there) and the hungry, especially those with special needs. You can read more and make a tax deductible donation here:

http://www.nogreaterjoymom.com/2012/12/mission-house-for-life.html?m=1

Our family will be donating 7 bricks ($25 each) - one for each of our precious children, including Henry.

Please ask if you can help to build this House for Life - for those precious children who have no chance at an "after" with a loving family like Henry had for 14 months.

Thank you from the bottom of our hearts.

40 comments:

  1. Carla you are a wonderful example of a strong and faithful mother. Of course there is pain but you "get it". You see the blessing through the tears. May God continue to sustain you and your family through this time. Please also know that you have been at the forefront of my prayers since last week and will be in the weeks to come. We love you so very much!

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  2. How is it that I feel strengthened after reading your posts?? How is it that you comfort me???

    Thinking of you, and sending prayers..

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  3. This is beautiful, Carla. Your 'before & afters" have the perspective of a woman of deep faith. During a time when we all want to comfort *you* with the "right words" (though we know they don't exist), you comfort us with these Spirit led thoughts. Thank you <3

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  4. I miss him though I never met him, and send hugs to you. God is most definitely being magnified.

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  5. Beautiful Carla. Thinking about u all.

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  6. Thank your for sharing your story with us, and for sharing Henry. We are praying for your family.

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  7. I've been thinking of the 'before' and 'afters' too...and I'm with Stephanie; how is it that you can give such strength and comfort when it is you who are no doubt in need of it? I suspect it is the 'peace that passes understanding.'

    My mom lost my older brother just hours after he was born; he suffered from (what sounds like to me) a neural tube defect. Reading your story and mourning Henry with you has been a special and poignant reminder for her. I am very sure that Gregory was one of the throng of God's precious ones who welcomed Henry to his new home.

    We love you.

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  8. Carla, I have been praying for you and your family. I lit a candle during Henry's funeral, and each time the flame caught my eye I said a quick prayer for y'all. I rejoice that your sweet boy had a mama and daddy and siblings to love on him before he was taken Home. Will continue to pray in the weeks and months ahead for comfort and peace. God bless you all!

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  9. What a beautiful post, Carla. Those of us who have never met you or Henry were blessed to know him through your writing, and now we are blessed to be able to mourn him with you, as you share your thoughts with us. We are all standing shoulder to shoulder with you and your family.

    Every life is precious . Every. Life.

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  10. This is the first time since I've read your blog after Henry's death, that I have shed happy tears.

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  11. That is the most perfect art to hang under his picture!!

    Henry is such a beautiful little guy, inside and out.

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  12. Oh Carla. This post is so beautiful and it's amazing how the Lord is using your pain to bless others. Thank you for cooperating with His Grace. He is sufficient and His power is made perfect in weakness. You are such an inspiration and Henry is continuing to change the world through your intercession. Praise God for his life and your family!

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  13. Oh Carla. You're such an amazing person. We love you and your family and we're keeping you in prayer!

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  14. "God takes ALL THINGS and makes them new.

    He can take our worst pains and tragedies and turn them to joy through people who listen to His promptings and act as His hands to those in need..."

    Dear Carla, God bless you and your family. Hugs.

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  15. tears and love. so many tears. and so much love

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  16. Your unwavering faith is absolutely amazing! The picture and plaque are beautiful!

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  17. Beautiful post, beautiful spirit, and beautiful photo of a sweet baby son! prayers continue...

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  18. You have a gift. It's a gift my best friend had before she went home to Jesus on July 15, 2011, at the age of 20 years old. The gift of somehow being the one in the middle of the storm, the one we all seek to comfort... and yet winding up being the one to offer comfort to everyone else. Your perspective has been a blessing on so many people, myself included. I remember when they told Angie she was terminal, I cried and cried... I felt helpless, I wanted to know what I could do... I couldn't find the right words... and she comforted *me*. That's the gift you have. I'll ask God to give her a memo to keep an eye out for your little boy until you see him again. God bless you and your whole family and all the good you have done and will do in the world.

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  19. I haven't yet commented, but my family has been praying for you all since Henry's passing (and before) and will continue to. You are amazing and inspiring and Henry is such a blessing to the world.

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  20. Beautiful Carla!!! <3 your heart!! Just wanted to let you know your Gobena coffee is coming....praying you find peace in a moment to enjoy it. <3 and (hugs) to you and your family...praying for you all.

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  21. Beautiful! Your family remains in my thoughts and prayers...

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  22. So beautifully written - still praying for your family.

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  23. Carla, as always you are an example of the power of faith, hope, and humility in the face of God. Thank you for this.

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  24. Grace shines forth from your life!

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  25. So beautiful. All truth. Thank you for giving even in your grief.

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  26. I love you dearly. Our family carries you through daily in prayer and love. May peace be the light that settles over you and may God's arms cradle you. Beautiful.

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  27. Carla,
    Thank you for sharing your joys and pain with us. You show everyone how strong your faith is and are love personified.
    Keeping you all in prayer

    The Reeds, Cathy, Bob, Shruthi, Jacob, Kaylee, Anne, Michelle

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  28. Carla,
    Thank you for sharing your wisdom and love. You are an inspiration. Simply Beautiful.

    Love,
    Erin Muldoon Stetson

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  29. Your faith and strength inspire and amaze me. God bless you and your beautiful family.

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  30. Absolutely beautiful, Carla.
    There is a candle burning in my home parish for Henry. It is right next to the one lit for my own little one, whose life and death draws that same stark boundary for us. But what a beautiful way to look at this: before and after. I am so inspired by you and your family. Thank you.

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  31. You are an example of faith and peace in the Lord. We are praying for you

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  32. Praying for you and your family...Lori in MT

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  33. I am in awe of your strength and profoundly impacted by your before and afters. We are parenting our sweet girl who has severe special needs and I thank God that he matched us up when our sweetie came into foster care. I so understand the love and I find comfort in how you are able to carry on Henry's legacy while in the throes of grieving - I pray I will have that grace should this be part of our journey.

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  34. No mom (or dad) should have to bury their child. My heart aches for you. Such hope dashed to pieces. Such beauty to enter your life for too short a time. But the gold refined in the fire is yours to keep forever; "good measure, pressed down, shaken together, overflowing, they shall pour into your lap, for with what measure you measure, it will be measured back to you." Your lived Catholic faith humbles me, and I thank you for your witness. God bless you always.

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  35. You are a light of hope, and God's love radiates from you and your writing.

    Thank you, for sharing yourself, and Henry, with all of us.

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